Category: Relationships – Staff

Reconciliation means the restoration of a broken relationship. It first requires sincere forgiveness for the person who has hurt you. Then, if possible to be truly reconciled, you go to that person and sincerely seek their forgiveness for your side of the broken relationship (even if your part is very small). Finally, reconciliation is complete when the relationship is restored. Our model for reconciliation is the standard Jesus set when He restored our relationship with God by dying for our sins on the Cross.

Proverbs 10:12; 14:33(a); 14:29-30(a)

“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions.”

“Wisdom rests in the heart of one who has understanding.”

“He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. A tranquil heart is life to the body.”

Q: According to these passage of scripture, describe a heart that is well prepared for reconciliation.

A heart that is full of love, understanding, patient and tranquil.

Psalm 103:8-12

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

Q: Is there any sin too big for you to reconcile with the Lord? What is one sin in your life that you feel is “too big”?

NO! The Lord covers ALL our sin. Example: “I feel like my impurity is a sin that is too big because I constantly keep returning to that sin.”

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Matthew 5:23-24 – “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”

Q: What is this verse saying about restoring a broken relationship?

It is difficult to truly worship the Lord when there are unreconciled relationships in your life. You need to forgive so your heart is in the best place to honor Christ.

Q: How important is reconciliation to Jesus? Who is one person in your life that you need to seek reconciliation with? If you do not reconcile, how can this affect your faith?

It is imperative for Jesus. Example: “I need to seek reconciliation with my older brother.” If I cannot forgive him, it proves that I have little faith that the Lord is bigger! Broken relationships distract from being able to offer everything I have.

Matthew 18:15-17 – “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

Q: Describe, in your own words, the steps of reconciling with a brother or sister of Christ.

(1) Reconcile one-to-one (2) If he/she doesn’t listen, then reconcile by bringing a second or third person with you (3) If that doesn’t work, then reconcile by bringing group of believers that both parties know. The personal relationship should end after those steps fail you, although you can still love that person in Christ.

Paul

2 Corinthians 5:17-21 – “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold new things have come. Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the world of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin oun our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”

Q: Are you a minister of reconciliation, or do you harbor bitterness and unforgiveness? Where does reconciliation come from?

Example: “At this point in my life, I am not a minister of reconciliation. I am holding on to unforgiveness and am bitter against my parents.” Reconciliation comes from a heart surrendered to God.

Peter

1 Peter 1:22-23 Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart, for you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and enduring word of God.”

Q: What place does love have in the reconciliation process? How does obedience produce a more loving heart?

Love for God and for others is the central point of reconciliation. Obedience = learning to have the heart of God = a heart of love.

APPLICATION: How do these passages relate to me today? What changes do they bring to my life?

LOCKER ROOM: Is there anything this week that you have been enslaved to, and how we can help you?

 

 

Proverbs 17:17

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Q: Why is true biblical friendship so important to you?

Example: “I know I can always count on my friends that love the Lord because our relationship runs deeper than surface friendship.”

Proverbs 18:24

“A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Q: Why do you need to be careful in calling just anyone “friend”?

You can get hurt calling anyone your friend since most will prove to be unreliable and will not reciprocate the care in friendship.

Q: Describe a BIBLICAL friend.

Like the fruits of the Spirit, a true, biblical friend is loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled.

Q: What is your personal standard for allowing someone to be your friend?

Example: “Someone can be my friend if they care about spending time with me and hearing about what is really going on in my life; most importantly, their ultimate goal in the friendship should be pointing me closer to Jesus.”

Proverbs 15:22

“Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed.”

Q: Why is it important to listen to your “true biblical friends?”

Friends who have a biblical foundation will give me good, sound advice rather than leading me astray to make bad decisions.

Psalms 71:4

“Rescue me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, out of the grasp of the wrongdoer and ruthless man.”

Q: Describe someone you are befriending or have befriended who is/was a bad influence on you, and describe the rise and fall of the friendship.

Example: “Johnny was my friend, and we used to hang out on the weekends and go to parties together. Our relationship was never deep and now he does not care about what is going on in my life since I have quit the party scene.”

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John 15:12-14 – “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you.”

Q: Describe Jesus’ friendship. What does His friendship mean to you?

He has and will always sacrifice everything to be our friend. Example: “His friendship means everything because He is the only one in my life who has remained constant.”

Q: What can you learn from His friendship, and how can you use His example to be a better friend?

His friendship is unwavering. To be a true friend, I need to die to myself and sacrifice my needs for others.

Q: How do you show your friendship to Jesus, and how can you improve that friendship?

Example: “I can improve my relationship with Him by repenting my sins, praying and reading God’s Word daily.”

Paul

2 Timothy 1:3 – “I thank God, whom I serve with a clear conscience the way my forefathers did, as I constantly remember you in my prayers night and day.”

Q: Why is praying for your friends so important? Why should you have a daily prayer reminder to pray for your friends?

This is the greatest way to love your friends! You are literally going before God in prayer for whatever prayer request they have asked!

2 Timothy 2:2 – “The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”

Q: Describe the importance of teaching Jesus’ Word to your friends and investing deeply into their spiritual growth.

If I care about my friends, then I will point them to their Lord and Savior by sharing God’s Word. If I do not know how to teach them about God’s Word, I could invite them to youth group.

Peter

1 Peter 4:3-5– “For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable idolatries. In all this, they are surprised that you do not run with them into the same excesses of dissipation, and they malign you; but they will give account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.”

Q: What is Peter asking you to do in this passage?

To stop running with the old friends who are living in constant sin.

Q: Do you have any “friends” that you need to distance yourself from? Why?

Example: “Yes, because they are tempting me to do things that I know does not please God.”

APPLICATION: How do these passages relate to me today? What changes do they bring to my life?

 

LOCKER ROOM: Is there anything this week that you have been enslaved to, and how we can help you?

 

Proverbs 27:6, 27:17, 25:11

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”

“Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

‘Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.”

Q: When it is wise to confront a friend? What makes a friend’s “loving rebuke” a requirement for true friendship?

When they are living a life that goes against what God has called us to. You confront them because you do not want your friend to get hurt when they are headed down the wrong path; you know the answer to pure joy is Christ!

Psalm 1:1-2

“How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.”

Q: What is the result of “walking, standing and sitting” with the wrong people in wrong places? How have you learned this “the hard way” over the past twelve months?

We become like these people and receive the consequences of sin with them.

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John 15:12 & 13

“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”

Q: Describe how Jesus’ example of friendship truly inspires you to develop the type of friendship that He exhibits in His life and death.

Everyday, if I truly love my friends, I will find ways to lay down my life for them. Christ sacrificed everything for those he loved.

Paul

Ephesians 4:15

“…but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ.”

Q: How do you want to see this group you are studying with today become more of a “truth in love” relationship? What does “truth in love” mean?

By encouraging each other and calling one another out in love when veering off God’s path. “Truth in love” = speaking honestly with kindness and care.

Peter

I Peter 4:3-5

“For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable idolatries. In all this, they are surprised that you do not run with them into the same excesses of dissipation, and they malign you; but they will give account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.”

Q: What does this verse say to you about friendships you once had or friendships you want to avoid?

It is time to walk away from negative relationships and become true friends with those following Jesus, no matter how hard the peer pressure can be.

APPLICATION: How do these passages relate to me today? What changes do they bring to my life?

LOCKER ROOM: What is your standard for friendship?

 

Proverbs 22:1

“A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, favor is better than silver and gold.”

Ecclesiastes 7:1

“A good name is better than a good ointment, and the day of one’s death is better than the day of one’s birth.”

Q: Why is your reputation so vital to your happiness, spiritual growth, friendships and success in life? How do you develop a “bad name” for yourself? How do you develop a “good name” for yourself?

My reputation is worth more than any wealth in this world. I can earn a “bad name” by not being a man or woman of integrity and chasing sin. To develop a “good name”, I need to focus on living in obedience to Christ and glorifying God in my interactions with others.

Psalms 33:12-14

“Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people whom He has chosen for His own inheritance. The Lord looks from heaven; He sees all the sons of men; from His dwelling place He looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth.”

Q: What exhortation is found in this Psalm that speaks to you about your personal pursuit of a good reputation.

Example: “I feel encouraged that if God is my Lord, He has chosen me for His inheritance.”

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Matthew 23:26

“You blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also.”

Q: What inner-character qualities provide a good reputation? What qualities provide a bad reputation? What qualities do you currently exhibit that your friends who know you the best would say damage your reputation? What would you like to do about those “inside the cup” characteristics that hinder you from a flawless reputation?

Good reputation = integrity, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Bad reputation = immorality, hatred, selfishness, impurity. Example: “My reputation is damaged because I speak badly about others and give into gossip.” Example: “I would like to stop gossiping and only say things that are encouraging to those around me.”

Matthew 7:15-20 – “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits.”

Q: Talk about your reputation being displayed from the “inside out.” How has hypocrisy hindered your reputation in your past?

My reputation reflects what is going on in my heart; the inside will eventually expose itself.” Example: “My hypocrisy made others distrustful of me, thus hurting my reputation as a Christian.”

Paul

Titus 2:6-8 – “Likewise urge the young men to be sensible; in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, sound in speech which in beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us.”

Q: What does this passage urge you to do in regards to developing a solid reputation?

I need to be an example of GOOD, so that anyone who is against me has no ammunition, because there isn’t anything bad to discuss.

Peter

1 Peter 2:12 – “Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.”

Q: How does your behavior influence your friends to move towards Jesus? How does it influence them to move away from Jesus?

By showing the love of God, my friends will be attracted to Jesus! On the other hand, bad behavior can turn my friends against Christ because they will see what I, as a “Christian”, do and see my hypocrisy.

 

APPLICATION: How do these passages relate to me today? What changes do they bring to my life?

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LOCKER ROOM: Name a person you admire who has a “good name.” What is one inner quality that person possesses that makes him/her admirable? What behavioral qualities does he/she exhibit that gives him/her a good reputation?

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